Here’s the latest blog from our friend, Pamela Holtzman.
Let’s say you are waiting for a medical test result, or to find out you “got the job”, or want a response from some colossal effort you have put forth. You’ve done everything you can to make it happen and have a positive outcome: researched, explored, exploited all your resources, to be in the best possible position.
There’s no more to be done….So what next?
The idea of just allowing arises. Difficult, as it infers blind faith of “the will in heaven”. It creates anxiety to just sit back and allow the patterns and efforts that have been put forth to find their natural rhythm and place in life. I’m talking about the concept of allowing defined by at some point letting whatever is next, to just happen. Letting the story un-fold. Non-action. Most of us are not happy surrendering control. There’s an anxious underlying feeling that there’s one more thing to do, email to check, person to call. Something.
What happens when we stop doing?
When we just open up to what is already there and settle into the reality of it all. Without any grasping. Just receiving life on its own time, the unfolding of events. Good? Bad? The Great ‘don’t know’? In order to be present with an inner calm, and trust, when the process already is feeling slippery, we need to remember the magnificence and outcome of past events and the interconnection of all things. It makes no difference if we are anxious, ego-driven or depressed, life happens in it’s own time. A wise woman once said “you can’t argue with ‘what is’ and expect to win.” Accepting ‘what is’ that’s the tricky partThe good news is there really is no need to “insert” our self into every situation.
Rather, the more powerful stance is to stay out of the way. Letting go of all thoughts, worries, expectations, and placing the focus on just being. In this context allowing equals non-attachment to the outcome.
But how can things happen if we just allow?
Or as another client says, “who will fly the plane if I’m not consumed with anxiety and worry?” What if we allow our self to know that life is being piloted just as it is meant to be? That there is a grander matrix beyond our small self, and our story and life is just part of the fabric of it all.The problem with this exercise of “allowing” is that if we don’t do it with our heart open we may find our self feeling irritable, short tempered, and silently bargaining with the greater scheme of it all.
So we are not open at all.
When the heart is closed or grasping, there is fear. Of what? We don’t know. It takes a lot of energy not to be controlling, to be patient, to wait, and watch. We have to learn to let happy days be happy, and sad days be sad, and not regret any of them. But instead embrace the wholeness in all of life. Allowing and flowing with change and opportunity. Trusting the unfolding of life just as it is.
"You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and vibrantly alive when in repose." ~Indira Gandhi